WINNIE

Many young people are very idealistic about marriage; at least, that is the impression I get when I interact with them. At a youth gathering sometime ago, a young man told me this story and asked for advice. His friend and the fiancee had agreed that there will be no premarital sex, mainly on the insistence of the lady. The young man grudgingly agreed and looked forward to deflowering his wife after wedding, but alas he encountered no roadblock on their first outing. He was angry and disappointed. He then asked me, what should his friend do? It was my turn to fire him questions. “Did the lady tell your friend during courtship that she was a virgin?” He answered no. So the friend only assumed. “What or who is your friend marrying, the virginity or the lady?” “The lady,” he answered. “So what is the problem? This friend who is obsessed with virginity, is he a virgin?” The answer was “no.” A lot of the time we chase shadows instead of substance. Then I remembered a story ...